The BEAUTY of wisdom…

I was having an early morning conversation with one of my clients the other day.  I asked her at what age it was going to be ok to stop trying to be beautiful before you leave the house in the morning.  We both had a good laugh and exchanged stories of last minute hair and shoe changes, etc.  Then she said the most wonderful thing…

She said at a certain point you become wise, and you realize all the external stuff relating to beauty is just fluff and in this wise moment you become truly beautiful.  She went on to share with me a tragedy that affected her very early in her life.  It filled her with shame and kept her from really living in her own beauty. Her own wise moment followed a very challenging life circumstance.

I was completely surprised that she shared such a personal story with me.  I also knew right away what a wonderful message she was passing on to me.  Now I’m passing it on to you all, there is nothing more beautiful than a wise woman!  ♥

ok with alone…

This is a difficult one to write, so it must mean I should keep going.  They always say, if you are afraid to do something, that means you MUST do it.  Here goes…    Can anyone really be OK with alone?  

There are times in life when you are just alone in it.  It’s quiet, not the quiet I wrote about yesterday, but seriously quiet.  It can be when you first move away from home, when your kids move out of the house, when you divorce, when your spouse or pet dies.  There are any number of reasons for this to occur, but you feel it.  There is no one at the door or in the kitchen when you arrive at the end of the day.  You see it, right?

Alone usually comes with a big transition in life, as the examples I mentioned above.  When you find yourself in the middle of this alone, how do you fill up your time?  The obvious things come to mind, like friends, neighbors, classes, projects, travel, etc.  The more you schedule, the less time you have to realize that you are alone!  Mostly, I think it’s about reaching out so that people know you are alone.  You may need additional phone time or drop by visits from your friends until you are through the transition.  What keeps you from feeling alone when you are not engaged in your schedule?  I started to write for this very reason and I have been both surprised and delighted by the community of bloggers who are there to share the journey with me.

Even more than that, I’ve had to learn that alone is OK.  This is a huge statement.  We spend so much of our lives trying to find that perfect partner or situation, so we will be guaranteed there is no alone.  One way or another, life will hand you alone time.  The relationship you have with yourself is what’s most important.  Learning to be your own friend and feeling loved and cared for by YOU, is one of the best skills you can have in life.  What does alone feel like for you?  How can you develop that relationship with yourself?  ♥

Being in the Quiet…

In today’s society we have a lot of distractions.  We are bombarded with sounds, images, people, traffic, media, you name it!  Sometimes all this stimulation is invigorating.  It both inspires and entertains us with its variety.  Other times all these distractions can be destructive, because it keeps you from hearing your own voice.  We need some time to sit in the quiet in order to reconnect with ourselves.

Being in the quiet is not as easy as it sounds.  Try an experiment.  Turn off all phones, televisions, computers, lights, etc.  Whatever you would normally have going as you move through your day.  Now try just spending a few moments with this quiet.  At first, you might think you’re going to have a mini-breakdown.  It’s like coming off of caffeine,  you’ll be a little edgy.  Once this initial withdrawal has subsided, something amazing happens.  First, you start to feel more at peace.  Second, you begin to hear your own thoughts and feelings.  Third, you’ll begin to hear the sounds of nature, you might even hear birds chirping!

It’s a mystery to me, why we spend so much time not listening to our own inner wisdom, because it has so much value.  Being in the quiet helps us to be grounded in a world that keeps us in the air most of the time.  Listening to your own wisdom is essential to being present in your life and making sure you are moving in the right direction.  Why don’t you schedule some quiet and see for yourself?  Let me know how it goes.  ♥ 

Life’s Red Flags…

Sometimes you are rolling along in life, thinking everything is status quo, moving through your days and nights, until IT happens.  The Red Flag is thrown.  This can be anything, an accident, a financial reversal, a health crisis, the end result is that you are forced to face something you have been ignoring for a very long time.  The universe is basically telling you that its time to snap out of it, and deal with whatever has been lurking on the back burner.

The size of the red flag is in direct relationship to your need to address the problem.  Some red flags are little, in fact they are so little, that you can possibly ignore them.  This, of course, is a bad idea, but we all do it.  It works for  a while until the next red flag is thrown.  This time its a little larger and harder to sweep away.  You see the point I’m making.  Ignoring your red flags can only lead to setbacks and suffering.  You have to face head on what you have been denying or hiding.  It takes effort and courage to face a red flag, but it’s also a great time to make a 180 degree turn in your life.  Think of it as coming to the fork in the road… now you will choose to go a different direction.

Can you think of any red flags that you have been ignoring?  Have you had any giant upsets in the past because you ignored too many of them?  Remember, the universe is always communicating with us, if we choose to be aware and accept the information.  Use these reminders to make changes for the better.  ♥

Your life in the rearview mirror…

I found myself looking through old photos the other night.  I have boxes of these things, all documenting my journey in life.  Every time I go through them, I am reminded of just how far I’ve come.  (I also think they need to be organized and in a better format… projects, projects!)

My life has been so different from what I imagined it would be as I was growing up.  I always imagined I’d have a big wedding, a big house, and a bunch of kids and dogs!  I didn’t even want to go to college.  I remember begging my parents to let me go to beauty school.  I could not understand why they wouldn’t let me just do “good hair”.   I never once thought that I would end up getting a Master’s degree, living in New York city, working in the fashion industry as a consultant, traveling the world, living in a condo, taking boxing classes, etc… You see where I’m going with this.

My life has been completely different from my imagination, yet it has exceeded my expectations for myself.  As I reviewed those photos, I see that the Universe has had a plan for me all along and I have been on course from the very beginning.  Just as Steve Jobs said in his famous speech, I have been able to look back and connect the dots that lead me to where I am today.  You know what?  I don’t always understand the events that come to pass, but I am grateful and I know that the “master plan” is in play.  I trust and have faith that my life is moving according to plan, even when I don’t recognize it!

How does your life look from the rearview mirror?  Do you see the path?  How does that make you feel?  Remember that we are all guided and trust that your path is unfolding exactly as it should. ♥

Discovering your true self… and loving it!

I’ve been checking out other blogs for the past couple days.  Suddenly, I realize that other people are writing these beautiful posts about life and their experience of it.  I am humbled by their words, the honesty with which they share, and the messages they are sending through the universe.  It’s very inspirational.

Blogging for me, has been about self discovery and healing.  The exercise and discipline of writing a new entry each day has lead me on an unusual journey.  The entries I have written are not at all what I was expecting to create, yet as I reread them, they are “just right” for my journey.  I wonder how many other bloggers are discovering the same thing as they write?  We are discovering ourselves in a new way.  I love this journey of writing and what it inspires in myself and others.  The dialog we create connects us with like souls and ignites conversations that would otherwise not happen.  The more honestly we share with each other and the world, the better our journey becomes.  

So, for all of you fellow bloggers… keep discovering and keep writing, I’m witnessing some greatness! ♥

Go with the flow…

You know sometimes in your life everything seems to fall into place?  You are just witnessing the events and following the chain. It seems as though all is right in the world.  This is called Flow.  Flow is like being in a river, moving with the water, it feels effortless.  I love going with the flow…

What about the times in life when ITS NOT FLOWING?  You know, you’re stuck.  You are in a rut and every best effort you put forward leads to a brick wall.  I have had my share of “no flow”.  It’s frustrating!  How do you rediscover your flow?  Honestly, it’s a mystery to me.

The most important thing to remember when you are out of flow, is to keep trying… try EVERYTHING.  Say yes, to all kinds of invitations, opportunities, people, jobs, and events that you would otherwise decline.  It’s possible that the flow you are looking for is with you already, but you are looking in the opposite direction.  Look around, change the glasses you’ve been wearing to examine your situation and your  world.  Be aware of what’s new in your old situation.  You’ve got to have faith that flow will return to you.

Wait and see… being open to the new, might just drop you right back into that flowing river! ♥

Thoroughbred or Glue Pony?

I’ve been watching Seabiscuit on HBO.  Let’s just say I’ve seen this movie a lot!  The horse is born to be a thoroughbred, but along the way, is categorized as “less than”.  Over time he is trained to lose races to give other, more promising horses some confidence from the win.  He is eventually picked up by an unlikely owner, trainer, and jockey  and given an opportunity to regain his lost magic.   Once he is given the attention and training he deserves, he begins to win races and reclaim his thoroughbred status.

All this discussion of thoroughbred status made me think about the old myth that horses are sent to “the glue factory” when they become out of commission.  At some point, a determination is made whether they have value or not, and this decision is made by an outsider.  Once they reach “the glue factory”, it’s the end of the line.

You know, we are all thoroughbreds inside, right from the very beginning.  Society has a way of making us feel like the “glue pony” from time to time.  We get side tracked, wait listed, passed over, and any number of wrong directions sent our way.  You may find yourself rethinking your own status.  Are you a thoroughbred or a glue pony?  Who determined your status?  Are you living like a glue pony, when you should be living like a thoroughbred?  Refuse to settle for anything less than the thoroughbred you are! ♥

Reclaiming what you’ve lost…

 In the journey of life, we sometimes lose ourselves.  You know what I mean by this, right?  You become a student and work full-time to pay for your college tuition, or you become a mother and begin caring for your children, or you become the CEO of a large corporation and you begin the process of growing the company…  The examples are as varied as the people they describe.  They all carry the same result, a loss of something that once was inside you.  In order to succeed and survive the challenge you are faced with, you shut down some parts of yourself and FOCUS on the task at hand.

For me this feels like driving through a tunnel.  You have to pay really close attention, because it’s dark and you are driving at a high rate of speed.  Everything else sort of fades while you are focused on the road in front of you.  Once you come out of the tunnel you are free to take in the environment in a much more global way.  You are still focused, but you can appreciate your surroundings a little more.  This is the same way in life.  In order to make it through that tunnel, we turn down certain parts of ourselves, they get lost…

The good news is, you can reclaim something you have lost.  Reclaiming is sort of a magical thing, because it allows us to rebirth that lost part.  It can happen in an unexpected way, either from a new situation, person or environment.  The magic of it is that you begin to recognize again the part of yourself that was shut down or lost.  I’ve had this happen multiple times in my life.  Sometimes, when I see that lost part of myself re-emerge, I am brought to tears, because I missed her so much!  Then I realize, she was there all along just waiting for her rebirth…♥

Do you recognize any lost parts of yourself?  How can you reclaim them?  

We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

I found this quote on the internet yesterday and couldn’t help share it with all of you.  Sometimes all the best laid plans are just not going to happen.  The longer we cling to these plans and ideas of how our life is supposed to look, the longer we will suffer.  It’s really that simple.  It takes an act of faith to surrender your trust and experience what life has in store for you.  You sort of just have to say, “oh, what the hell”, and give in….  you surrender.

You know what, it takes less energy to surrender.  Things flow into and out of your life with less angst and struggle.  Things that disappear are simply not meant to be.  Things that appear, sometimes out of thin air, are just what is needed.  Being able to recognize that you are getting what you NEED, instead of what you want is crucial in the journey of life.

Remember, we all have our own story , why not open up and embrace the life that is waiting for you? ♥